FANDOM


THE GAMEEdit

Borderlands 2, the sequel to borderlands, is basically borderlands one with MOAR GUNS11!!!11!.  It is largely known for it's enormous amount of hard-core gun porn, and pretty colors. It takes place after the original vault hunters find out the vault only hid a one eyed giant vagina with tentacles, or atleast they thought it had that. In reality the vault released a shit load of shiny purple rocks, most likely filled with LSD called eridium. Sirens inject it into their bodies to go a on a fucking awesome trip where they shoot out magic n shit out of their own hands. Though sometimes a siren can go on a "bad" trip and end up thinking they're some kind of guardian angel.

THE CHARACTERSEdit

The story begins with these new vault hunters and handsome jack. Since you have to choose a character to continue the game, i'll explain what they're generally like.

Axton: Axton is basically the white version of ronald with turrents injected with massive amounts of testosterone, he is also has an x with his name which makes him one thousand times more badass.

Maya: Maya is a siren who was born with the ability of womencraft. She can cook, clean, and make you a tasty sandvich three times faster than the average woman. Though she must be fed attention ONLY three times a day, and be disciplined appropriately. Also it seems she takes some mixture of plasmids and LSD often, and has constant hallucinations of her self shooting purple bubbles of telekenises out of her hands.

Krieg: Krieg, the newest addition in the series, was a boy who was abused frequently in his fanny and other private parts by his father. His dad often yelled out a lot of graphic and gibberish like things while riding his son such as, NIPPLE SCROTUM, TITTY SHITTERS, and BUTTHOLE WAFFLES. These words damaged kreigs mentality and stayed stuck in his mind. Though the word that caused the most damage was POOP TRAIN, as POOP was what his dad referenced to krieg's anus, and train referenced to his dads cock. This explains why krieg often says he was the conductor of the poop train.

Salvador: Salvador, is the mexican counterpart to Super man, injected with a shitload of steroids. He was found mentally retarded as a baby, and is only able to say short simple words such as GUNS. Since the repeated use of steroids and intelligence deficiency his penis is quite small and he is unable to attract women. To compensate for this he often fucks his own guns in his spare time, and engages in hardcore gun porn.

Zer0: Zer0 is a mysterious assassin that is also a robot. He often uses emoticons to express his emotions rather than just using actual emotions to express his emotion toward something. Also he has a sword which he uses to rape bandits and attract bitches and ho's to his robotic meat sandwich. Most fanboys fap to him and moxxie 24/7.

Gaige: This is a story all about how my life got flip turned upside down
And i'd just like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'l tell you how i become the murderer in a science fair
In west Eden 5 born and raised
In the fair was where i spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
Playing with my robot outside of school
When marcy holloway who was up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I killed one little bitch and i got scared
and said 'Fuck the police, i'm getting out of here'
I whistled for a train and when it came near
It was filled with robots down to the rear
If anything i could say this was a trap
But i thought 'It's better than having feds on my back'
I fell on the planet around 7 or 8
and i yelled to the claptrap 'Yo homes smell ya later'
Looked at the place
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as some chick in pandora

THE STORYEdit

WINDSHEAR WASTE

You start off in some snowy waste land called Windshear waste and meet this robot named claptrap. He fondles dead bodys untils they give him his precious loot. Anyway, he takes you to his shelter where he immiediately gets fist fucked in his eye by this giant blue balled cock mongler. He informs you that you have to get his eye back for you to be able to get to sanctuary, and also that he is your daddy and he will take care of you. Later in the story, after you help your daddy not get his robotic butt hole utterly devastated by a few blue balled cock monglers you meet up with the gigantic dick mongler called Knuckle Dragger. He will try to fist you furiously at first, but with a few hits with a gun you can easily take him down and shove your cock into his anus. After that, craptrap will say some shit and you will be transported to the Southern Shelf. In this place jammercock, the high class, frenchie --censored for your pleasure-- will ask you to pwn some bandits and cock monglers. Once done, he will fix crap traps eye with his nig-tech and crap trap will lead you to his ship that flynt stole from him.


                                                                                        

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.