Park Rangers are people who totally don't watch and protect parks. They actually protect houses.

These people are seen in Yellowstone, Grand Teton, Olympia, Grand Canyon, Microsoft Headquarters, Ford Trucks and Gophers.


The PastEdit

Sitting Mom's basement will never be safe again!

Dump shit into this section to make it look bad.


Modern TimesEdit

Since Park Rangers haven't learn their lessons from the pastor, the areas they once protected look like landfills and everyone who has gone to the areas are infected with a disease like cancer, pneumonia, asthma, water, roofs and armpits.

Unfortunately the American Progress hasn't done anything to combat this situation.

At tireEdit

Park Ranger don't wear hats since they think they'll be mistaken for Barack Obama which in reality the President is wearing a Sergeant's hat from some Stanley Kubrick film. Probably from Eyes Wide Shut.

They wear top class suits to show their pro style because they have guns in order to shoot bears in the face for PROPERTY DAMAGE.

They don't wear badges even though they are secretly working for the government (don't tell em').

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