"Just call me Ginsu!"
- Postal Dude after blowing an random civilian's head with a shotgun
"I regret nothing."
- Postal Dude driving away as Paradise gets nuked
He's the main anti-hero/protagonist of the best video game series that gives a nice little "FUCK YOU" to murder simulators like Hatred and Grand Theft Auto.
Personality & Behavior Edit
Dude is simply a local badass who kills anyone on his way during his daily errands by blasting their heads off with a Pump-action Shotgun or chopping them into tiny little pieces with a Axe.
Also, he has a pet Pitbull Terrier named Champ, who will devour you if provoking the Postal Dude.
Powers & Weaknesses Edit
The Postal Dude can use any weapons from shovels to Napalm Launchers. He can also chop off a random bystander's arm, then chase them down and subdue them to self-wetting pain and terror with a taser attack, douse them with gasoline, and burn them to a hideous char before dousing the flames with urine, step on the victim's back and "ride" them as they try to crawl, sobbing, away, and finally finish them off with a dose of anthrax... and then decapitate the body, kick the head around city streets like a soccer ball (sending other bystanders who see it into hysterics), before crushing the thing with a sledgehammer like a hellish Gallagher, splattering brains all about. FUCK YEAH!
He can also piss on people's faces, making them to puke right before decapitation. Sit back and enjoy the neck stump pumping out blood and vomit all over the pavement.
Unfortunately, he's durable as an average human being. But that will not stop him from going postal.
- He completely regrets nothing.
- The Postal Dude hates MLP and Undertale. Which he throws sledgehammers at their fans of course (including other rabid video game/anime/tv fanboys/fangirls).
- He was married with a fat slob named The Bitch, which after 11 years of coma, he finally killed her by blowing her ass with megatons of C4.
- Richard D. James confirmed that he can fap to deceased bodies after the Postal Dude killed his victims with the Napalm Launcher.
"Hi there, would you like to sign my petition?"
"Are you gonna sign this or will it be your surviving family members?"
"The gene pool is stagnant and I'm the minister of chlorine!"
"Just call me Dr. Euthanasia."
"Hey I'm just trying to exercise my second-amendment rights here ya' fucking communist!"
"Don't crowd, there's plenty for everyone!"
"Today's the first day of the end of your lives!"
"You probably thought you weren't going to die today? SURPRISE!"
"How would you like it if someone called you a LUNATIC?"