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DANGER: the captain is a god tier character and cannot be defeated by anyone. DON'T BREAK YOUR BACK! HAS BEEN DEFEATED BY RETROCHUG BUT RETROCHUG GOT DEFEATED AND MASK CAME IN OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE AND FUCKING KILLED OFF THE CAP WITH A HUGE FUCKING EXPLOSION.

The Good Captain (otherwise referred to as just "The Captain" or on police records as "the dockside rapist") is captain of the submarine, "HMS shut up and pay attention"

THECAPTAIN

"crisp winds, tide in our favour. pull hard to port lets roll this bitch"

This is the guy who ruined the naval play gamemode for everybody. He rules the seas of Garry's Mod and blows up and rapes anything that stands in his path. He also gets banned from all the Counter-Strike servers for having a shit ping because he plays from his submarine "so those pesky ISP landlubbers dont find me". Most importantly, The Good Captain must never be within 8 miles of children which is why he remains at sea.

No crew of the captain shall ever misbehave. for those who do recieve "4000 lashings of the cat of nine tails and a salt bath after ongoing an hour of stabbing from all angles."

BATTLE WITH RETROCHUG Edit

The Captain is now deceased after fighting Retrochug in THE battle of heresy. After the Captain had been found for being responsible for letting an autism virus break out on the HMS Shut Up and Pay Attention, killing most of the cabin boys AND TRYING TO STEAL RETROCHUG'S ROCKET BOOTS. Retrochug and The Captain fought for a solid hour until Retro became too weak to continue and summoned Mask to crit hit the fuck out of The Captain and "BLEW HIM THE FUCK UP IN A BIG FUCKING EXPLOSION".


HMS Shut Up and Pay Attention Edit

CURRENT STATUS: ship is currently under the administration of RETROCHUG though he never uses it much. The things crawlin' with autism and is quarantined. All of the cabin boys were infected and were personally terminated by RetroCHUGMASTER1984, which affected him deeply and made the players sad that they lost most of their S Ranked Cabin Boys.

The Captain's trusty submarine that is sometimes referred to as "Bessie" for some reason. It is a gigantic subversive ship commissioned in the year 2007 by the royal navy with a concealed arsenal of weapons including:
20160621124921 1

the captain on board HMS shut up and pay attention

  • a wrecking ball
  • anti ballistic nukes
  • vulcan gun turrets
  • bear trap deployer
  • anti seagull S-mine launcher
  • drone deployer
  • sea mine deployer
  • emergency VPN tower
  • child abduction device
  • adult abduction device
  • that robot arm thing that throws lassos from wallace and gromit
  • cripple abduction device
  • giant robotic arm
  • long range laser cannon for short range problems (such as sniping someone from international waters so we dont get shit from it)

Despite the size and weight of the Shut Up and Pay Attention, It is ballasted with nothing but spare copies of Dota 2. The Ship is so large and advanced, The Captain gets a week long ban for spawning it in on the Naval Play servers.

Quotes Edit

(read in the voice of Joshamee Gibbs in G major from pirates of the caribbean for extra laughs)

"IT WAS A SQUID THAT TOOK ME PENIS IN THE GREAT ROBOTIC SQUID WARS OF 23"

"when i was a lad on christmas, me da would give me 80 pence to take the bus up to the heath. it was rainin. and he said to me, we gonna need you to look out tonight in case the postman comes"

"YOU'VE BEEN WARNED ONCE OR TWICE BOY. THE CAPTAIN WILL DEAL WITH YOU TONIGHT."

"JETTISON THE BREAD ROOM"

"ten ships will sail when the two moons arise early on that september morn"

"we had a parrot at one point but we ate him during the time of having no food aboard"

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